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The Aspie Girl’s Guide to Being Safe with Men The Unwritten Safety Rules No-one is Telling You

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Book - The Aspie Girl’s Guide to Being Safe with Men The Unwritten Safety Rules No-one is Telling You

by: Debi Brown
Foreword by Sarah Attwood

About the author:

Debi Brown is a 34 year old Aspie. She has a post-graduate certificate in Autism from the University of Strathclyde, Scotland, and is an autism author, speaker and educator. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland.

Sarah Attwoodworked for fifteen years as a sexuality educator in Australia, where she designed a wide range of sexual health programmes. Her particular areas of expertise include the education of parents and of school children aged 9 to 17 years. She grew up with a sister who has Asperger's syndrome and who has been an inspiration to her.

ISBN: 978-1-84905-354-9

Year: 2012

Publication Info: 176pp


For Aspie girls and women, dating and sexual relationships can be confusing, intimidating and potentially dangerous. Even if actively avoiding romantic relationships or sexual encounters, a lack of understanding about acceptable social interaction between men and women can leave Aspies vulnerable to negative experiences. It is vital, therefore, that the facts and unwritten rules about sexual conduct and relationships are clearly laid out for girls and women on the spectrum.

Understanding that Aspies need explanations to be explicit and unambiguous, Debi Brown, a female on the spectrum, presents the truth about sex and relationships, shares her personal insight and provides practical strategies for staying safe in many different situations. As she guides Aspies through the unwritten safety rules around dating, relationships and sex, her advice will empower females on the spectrum, allowing them to build up their knowledge, recognise and report abusive behaviour, understand boundaries, develop relationship skills and work towards a safe independence. Covering topics such as boyfriends, sex, pregnancy and rape, this book includes advice on building a support network, saying ‘no’, self-esteem and emotional healing and will prepare Aspie girls and women to make independent, informed and safe decisions when interacting with men.

Written with warmth, honesty and understanding, this is essential reading for every Aspie girl and woman, from age 13 upwards. It will also be a valuable source of insight and advice for parents, friends, professionals and anyone else supporting a female on the autism spectrum.



Foreword by Sarah Attwood. Why I wrote An Aspie Girl’s Guide and why you should read it. Introduction. Part I: The support, knowledge and skills you need as pre-requisites to being safe with men. 1. Your support network. 2. Boundaries. 3. Useful rules. Part II: Being safe with men – protecting yourself, making informed choices and acting on your choices. 4. Understanding the female and male bodies. 5. Boyfriends. 6. Kissing. 7. What is sex? 8. Safer sex. 9. Pregnancy and abortion. 10. Too young for sex? 11. Making your choices and acting on them. 12. What to do if you get raped. Part III: Emotional healing. 13. Emotional healing. Conclusion. End Matter. Why the Aspie Girl’s Guide is written as it is written. Note to autism professionals. References. Index.



As an Aspie herself, Debi Brown has written warmly, startlingly honestly and from a position of knowledge… She has understood the fundamental truth, that to ensure a girl’s safety, it is vital to educate her… Debi doesn’t use innuendo or assume knowledge on the part of the reader… She lays it bare, and when it all gets too difficult (some of the subject matter is deeply challenging), she envelops you warmly with reassurances and kind words. You feel as though you are sitting having a heart-to-heart chat with your best friend. This beautifully written book should be essential reading for all young women, not just Aspies.


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